They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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