I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
