he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
God gave him joint rollers for hands
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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