You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
