went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
