girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize