Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
