can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Even my vagina gasped.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
