dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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