we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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