Just took my morning after pill in the library
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
You made out with two different species that night
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
