i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
