I think my vagina is haunted
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
