like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
