My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
