What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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