Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(916): View more from California

Michael Bay diarrhea

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(512): View more from Texas

why does the wii remote smell like your vag?

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(336): View more from North Carolina

This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.

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(315): View more from New York

I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours

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(348): View more from

Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...

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(856): View more from New Jersey

and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her

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(831): View more from California

if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please

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(636): View more from Missouri

Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.

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(713): View more from Texas

I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...

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