I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
