He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
