Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
