oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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