So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize