you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Randomize