Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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