I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
