but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
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