I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
