I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
