I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i just had sex bonerless
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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