do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
