hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
