absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Randomize
