how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
