Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
