From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
