Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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