I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
