I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
