addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
