tell your sister to shave her snatch
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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