i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
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