She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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