Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
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