i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
