Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
