wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
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