It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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