need another drink. this is the easiest way
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
