new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
