Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
