Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
