right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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