Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Randomize
