at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
