I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
my liver is dry heaving
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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