Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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