I'm jealous of your bromance
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
