just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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